Did this title catch your attention? Did it even possibly shock your senses to see this as a part of a Christian blog? Why on earth would a Christian school’s blog be calling for more mean moms? Well, let’s provide some context to this discussion. Much research has recently emerged about how nice moms are to their kids. They work overtime to ensure their children are happy. They work to minimize experiences that bring their children hurt or disappointment. They, in essence, put diligent effort into making sure their children feel good most, if not all, of the time.
But…if you take time to look at the real world, this is not only unrealistic. It is also a means by which moms are crippling their children’s effectiveness in dealing with what will eventually come their way. Now, when you hear the term “mean mom”, some might think that this refers to an abusive or cruel mom. Well…the child might think so, given the punishment that he or she is receiving. But, truth be told, the meanness that this child perceives is simply their soft feelings getting hurt enough to instill a lesson in how they should behave.
In a recent blog article, a “mean mom” wrote the following:
“Mean is what your children may feel about you when you make them write a thank-you card, enforce daily chores or thwart their Friday night plans. Mean is when you push to know their friends and the parents of those friends, when you instill dinnertimes, bedtimes and curfews.”
Let’s be clear: all parents want to have fun with their children, to experience minimal conflict with them, to have that love-dovey feeling. But doing this at the cost of not teaching them the big picture of life will only bring future heartache in ways that will likely be more costly …in multiple ways.
So what are some ways that you can be that effectively “mean mom”? Here are four short ideas:
- Make ’em work
- Let ’em fail
- Rule their technology
- Stick to your word
We invite you to read a more in-depth article written by a mom who is most insightful in addressing this topic. Her article can be found at:
We believe you will find some light bulbs going off in your mind, not to mention that some, if not most of you, will recall your own mom being “mean”. However, it very likely has served you well. So, up your “mean” factor a bit. Do it in a healthy, biblical way.